Moving forward

"Be happy if he's moved on, be caution with the one that "loves" you now, and forget those who have wronged you in the past"

-PleaseDefineLove

Humorous Hope

I Wish Nothing But the Best For You

If you're anything like me you've had the song "Someone Like You" by Adele on replay. This song is so touching and even though this may not be your current situation it sure as heck hits that soft spot in your heart by just the way Adele sings it. I couldn't help but go back in my mind and think about how many times I thought I couldn't live without a certain someone even after the years went by. That sudden void of not having that person next to you is like a knife cutting into your very soul. But you can't help but wish the best for that person. You could never wish that person harm, but in the back of your mind you wish that person would show up at your door at 2 a.m like in the movies, but it never happens. Love is complicated but it's also blind, many times we think that we're in love when we really aren't. Women, usually, tend to get attached really quickly and we fall hard! We love with all our soul, but the relationship never lasts, is it just us? Why must this always happen to me? Those thoughts of pity fills our mind, but what Adele forgot to add or what she of course did add in her other song "rolling in the Deep" is how you can progress from that feeling of pityness and into the light of hope, hope that someone new will come, or simply that you guys weren't meant to be. Either way change is in the horizon... and remember change always brings gifts. =)

PleaseDefineLove.Blogspot.com

The Absent Husband

           Married three years, dated seven and here I am, with a two-year old child and one on the way. I thought I knew him, I've known him for so long. When we dated he listened, he understood, he gave me his shoulder to cry on. Now... well now its the opposite, he never listens, he doesn't understand and he's the one that makes me cry. When we decided to get married everyone was happy for us. Even a year into marriage he was that kind gentle person I fell in love with, that guy that came home with flowers on a regular Wednesday afternoon, the guy that helped cook, watched T.V. with, laughed with, loved with. But now he's different. Even our friends and family see it. Ever since Kristy was born it's like he doesn't even want to be around me. Sure he works and provides for us but he's never around. He acts like Kristy is a chore, like he can leave and attend her later. He complains about everything. How nasty changing a diaper is, how dirty the house gets, how dinner isn't always done. If he was home more often maybe I could get some help with Kristy so that I could cook and clean. But all he wants to do is be away from me. He's always with his friends, planning activities, going out. Where did that warm heartfelt person I feel in love with go? It's like everyday we fight, everyday we argue but its not like we're dating, we're married and have children. I've gotten to a point where I'm just depressed all the time, I hardly go out, I always have to attend to Kristy by myself plus I'm expecting, its like .... it's like I'm a single parent but with the extra baggage of an non-supportive husband and I don't know what to do.

It's very difficult to get married with a person you thought was going to be the perfect husband and eventually the perfect father and then realized that he didn't live up to your expectations. That he changed, all you guys do is argue. But it's even worse when you have children. Every time you argue, it's the child that is directly affected. Children always sense when things are wrong, they get tense, scared and worried. Many scenarios go through their minds about situations they can't yet comprehend. But here's a reality check....When you got married and thought you were marring the perfect person, that was your biggest mistake, because you have to remember NO MAN is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, even you. When both of you got married you both had expectations for the other person.   This idea that either of you were perfect was an absolute let down that can cause many doubts in one another. Counseling provides you with someone out of your immediate circle to give advise and help guide your marriage from an outside perspective. It is always good to seek counseling no matter how small an issue maybe. Because without counseling a little problem left without being addressed can soon become a great dilemma. It's very hard to admit that you may  have let your husband down, sometimes its even more difficult for a man to admit his wrongs. But if he tries to make things better, don't shut him down, its his way to say "I'm sorry." Today might be a simple gesture or action and then may come the actual words "I'm sorry." If you feel like he leaves you home all day long to attend the children bring up the issue of possible day care or babysitting. A few hours outside the house would do you great and something as little as that can help your marriage greatly. Just remember to stop suppressing  your feelings to see if your spouse can tell that your unhappy. Speak up, say what you need and what you want. Because if your stubborn what you might just get is a divorce over a situation that could have been prevented.

-PleaseDefineLove.Blogspot.Com

Something More

When I close my eyes at night, I don't want to cry

I don't want to reminisce, I don't want to be in pain

When I close my eyes I want to be happy

I want to be at peace, I want to smile

I need something more

Something new, maybe old

Something you haven't done in a while

I need your attention, I need your strength

I need your love

What Im getting is not good enough

its not satisfying, its not worth it

I'm done with the pain

Im done with the sorrow Im done with the tears

I need something more

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Because I Love You

Because I love you is why you're beautiful,

It's why you're stunning

It's why you're amazing

Because I love you is why I've changed,

It's why I'm faithful

It's why I'm caring

But it's because you love is why I'm complete,

It's why I'm happy

It's why you were worth it.

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Last Kiss

            We've all gone through break-ups and make-ups. Times where you argue with your boy/girlfriend yet know everything will be fine...... Except this time it was different. This time you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach. That feeling of knowing somethings gonna happen. You start to tear up but he/she reassures you that everything's fine. You toss and turn all night. Days pass and you don't get a phone call, not even a text.... Before, every morning you'd wake up to a "good morning sweetheart" text, or a "Can't wait to see you today."  Now ..... well, now all you get are voice mail's and brief hi's and bye's. Everything's different, nothing is like it was. And then one day he/she tells you those four words you've been dreading... "We need to talk." Your stomach sinks, your heart beat races, and every memory you've had together runs through your mind. Your eyes water up but you hold back the tears  ......... It's over.
           Since that day, everything's gray. Nothing has color, and nothing makes sense. Three years together and just minutes to end it. You begin to run through every memory to see what happened. How did it come to this? Was it sudden, or was there signs? Could you have prevented this? So many questions, but no answers to fill them. Crying yourself to sleep is the norm and every sad song  you own is on replay.... Those types of songs that can describe what you're feeling at that exact moment. Those types of songs that makes you want to rip your heart straight out of your chest to stop all the pain. Yea.... We've all been through that. The depression stage. Where everything reminds you of him/her. Where we talk to his/her friends to see what he/she's up to, how he/she's been, and if he/she's moved on. No matter how much we try to stay away, there's always that one photo we refuse to throw away. You never thought that the last kiss would be THE last kiss. The last of them all. The would of, could of , should of scenarios run through your brain.... but its too late. It's more than over, its finished.
         Months pass and eventually that wound begins to heal. No more crying yourself to sleep and no more urgency to hear his voice. That deep rooted wound is now just a mere scar being healed. Your days now have some colors and your playlist doesn't consist of any songs that remind you of Love. You feel like you have moved on, you feel accomplished. Three months of healing and you feel you deserve a reward, a night out, a day to restore your social life. All your friends miss you, all your friends are excited for tonight. And right when your laughing your heart away at something that just happened, you open your eyes &look to the distance... Your heart stops ....It's him. Yes, it's him, you remember his face, his eyes, and whats more astonishing is that and he's staring right back at you with eyes of joy.... You both smile and look away. Your day just became gloomy yet still with color. It's raining, but not over you, you're crying, but your happy........ You just began to live. 

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Men Will Never Win.

Girls, take it easy!

Now I think it's good to say that everyone knows how territorial women can get when it comes to other females interacting with their men. And for the most part, we blame everything on our boyfriends. We ask them a billion and one questions on why they were even talking to her in the first place. Take a chill pill women! Why so much jealousy? You can't expect your boyfriend to never talk to any other female besides you. Be realistic. Just like you have your male friends that are JUST FRIENDS, your boyfriend can have girls that are JUST FRIENDS. Don't be so controlling. Unless that is, you want to lose him? Now I'm not saying that every girl is worth trusting. 'Cuz you never know a girls true intentions when it comes to men. But let him breathe! If he bumps into a girl he knows, don't make a scene, don't ruin your day, if anything show her how good he treats you. Don't throw a fit for something as little as saying "hi" to someone, 'cuz God knows how many guys you talk to on the daily basis that your boyfriend don't know. Be fair.

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Twilight Fantasy

Excuses Excuses Excuses!

Top ten excuses women use to stay in dysfunctional relationships

"He Loves me"

"He says he's going to change"

"We have kids together"

"...That was before, he's different now"

"Yea we argue, but what relationship doesn't?"

"He only hit me once, he was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing"

"He would never lie to me"

"He cheated on me before, but he's 100% committed now"

"Nobody knows him like me, he's just going through a difficult time"

"I Love Him"

There is no excuse for anyone to feel the need to stay in a dysfunctional relationship. Love does not cause harm, love is not jealousy and certainly love is NOT abuse. Denial is not the answer. The fact is if a relationship is not working out then its time to go separate ways. Don't hold on to false illusions. You should be number one in a mans life. If you feel neglected, abused and hurt, leave him! So many women stay in relationships because they think they're in love, but in fact they are blinded by lies. With excuses that eventually he'll change, that he's trying. The truth is that no matter how hard you try to change someone, the other person has to give forth effort. And if a man really loved you , you wouldn't have to force him to change, he would change because he loves you and wants to make you happy. Take control of your relationship TODAY. Its either make it or break it, it's been too long to give third and forth opportunities. Along will come a man that will really value you, and who knows, maybe it will be the same man you left that really self evaluated his life without you and decided to change.

PleaseDefinelove.blogspot.com

Inspirational Quotes

"Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning"

 -Psalms 30 : 5

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies"

-Proverbs 31:10-11

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth"

-1 John 3: 18

I Want The Best For You

At times when we enter relationships we don't care what anyone says about who we're with. But why would you have that attitude if there's nothing wrong with the person you're dating? One of the main people that we display a big "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" sign is to our family. Our friends are usually the main source we seek approval when it comes to dating. We ask our friends what they think about 'em before we date 'em....And you see, there's the number one problem! Our friends will 90% of the time agree and encourage us to do whatever we want. If we want a tattoo, if we want a piercing, if we want to date. Friends are the main source we discuss these things with. Friends are there to encourage you. They are your public cheerleaders. To them it makes no difference who you date as long as "you're happy." But what do they know about happiness? A teacher being absence makes them happy,  a seat on the bus makes 'em happy. Yes, it’s good to seek approval from your friends but don't let them influence you into dating anyone. 

           

You see, one of the main people we should discuss this issue is with our family. Let it be a sister or a brother if you don't feel like talking to your parents. But THEY should be your number one cheerleaders when it comes to dating. Your family is the ONLY people that want the best for you. And especially your parents. Your mom and dad want someone perfect for you, not just any guy/girl, and especially not a bad one. To your friends, dating a bad guy would be the topic of the century, "ya will make the cuties couple!" is probably what they'll say, disregarding the guy's true intentions or his attitude, or lack of respect, to them it just matters if they're hot. We'll let me you something, you shouldn't be in a relationship just for their appearance. You should want to form a relationship with someone that respects you, that shares your same moral beliefs, someone that honor YOUR parents and listen to their words. Because a guy/girl that disrespects your parents is not a guy/girl worth dating, and furthermore will disrespect you down the line. Not only does that make that person dishonest but untrustworthy.

-PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Quotes for the day

"If your relationship started with a lie, it will end in one too" 

"Don't give someone a glimpse of hope when you know there is no future"

     

"Why should I be good in the kitchen when you're no good in bed!"

"You are my flower and I am your sun"

Baby Please Don't Go

            I learned various life lessons along the years. One in particular I cannot stress enough is that, no matter how much your partner may love you, or feel about you, if you don’t have the same feelings, don’t be in the relationship for the other person. You should be in a relationship because YOU want to. You should be happy in a relationship and not feel guilty because you don’t love them. Follow your heart. Don’t give that person a glimpse of hope when you know there is no future. And even when your relationship started great, if you feel as if your love for someone has come to a sudden stop, it’s better to bring up the issue and not ignore it. It is better to be truthful and just say “hey, the fire inside of me has gone out” maybe you just need to address an issue with them to rekindle a relationship. And if you feel you want out in a relationship, do not feel bad for saying so, it’s your happiness that’s at stake too! Yes you may have shattered his/her feelings, but wouldn’t you rather be with someone that YOU really love? Someone that YOU feel just as passionate about? Relationships aren’t easy; and at times very sticky. Don’t give someone a chance you know very well won’t lead to anything in the future. As I have learned, you will too. You will hurt them MORE than what you think your helping being in a false relationship. Remember, be in a relationship because YOU want to, not because your pressured, not because your force and not to seek refuge, but because you love and are loved back. When it comes to love, there is NO second guessing, it’s either he’s it or he’s not.