Humorous Hope

Love is...

You Left But....

I Wish Nothing But the Best For You

If you're anything like me you've had the song "Someone Like You" by Adele on replay. This song is so touching and even though this may not be your current situation it sure as heck hits that soft spot in your heart by just the way Adele sings it. I couldn't help but go back in my mind and think about how many times I thought I couldn't live without a certain someone even after the years went by. That sudden void of not having that person next to you is like a knife cutting into your very soul. But you can't help but wish the best for that person. You could never wish that person harm, but in the back of your mind you wish that person would show up at your door at 2 a.m like in the movies, but it never happens. Love is complicated but it's also blind, many times we think that we're in love when we really aren't. Women, usually, tend to get attached really quickly and we fall hard! We love with all our soul, but the relationship never lasts, is it just us? Why must this always happen to me? Those thoughts of pity fills our mind, but what Adele forgot to add or what she of course did add in her other song "rolling in the Deep" is how you can progress from that feeling of pityness and into the light of hope, hope that someone new will come, or simply that you guys weren't meant to be. Either way change is in the horizon... and remember change always brings gifts. =)

PleaseDefineLove.Blogspot.com

The Story of Everyone and Nobody

One day Sally Everyone, Joe Anyone, Sam Nobody and Kathy Somebody were assigned group members for the science fair. At first Everyone was ambitious to start working. But as the weeks went by Everyone started showing up late, thinking Nobody would care. Eventually Everyone assumed that if Anyone didn't do their part Somebody would eventually do it. 

So when the day of the science fair came and Everyone looked at Somebody to see if Anybody did the project. But it turned out that while Everyone though Someone would be the one to do the project, in reality it was Nobody the one that finished the project.

Sometimes we need to stop relaying on other people to do what we know we should do before it comes to bite us.

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Say Cheese!!

It seems like every time I go outside no one is smiling. Everyone always has a serious look on their face. Why is that? Is it because you're in a hurry? Perhaps you're mad or irritated. But 97% of the times, if you sit and just observe people go about their day they always have a long face. No one smiles, ESPECIALLY in NYC. If you even smile at someone on the train or bus they might think you're crazy! Why is that? Are we crazy for being happy? Or are we crazy to actually show some type of emotion? I know mornings aren't the best time of day for some people but why frown? Smile!
I want everyone to try this, smile to at least one person per day. Brighten up someones day with a hello, or a good morning. Get out of the ordinary. 'Cuz you never know who might be falling in love with you're smile ;-)

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Coming Soon

Hey guys so i know I've totally stopped blogging for like a week and I feel so bad. But the good news is I will be able to produce more blogs, more often & more efficiently. I'm currently moving back to my home town of NYC =) and they aren't going to install my Internet for a while. So bare with me guys. better content coming soon =D

Love is Fire

Love is like fire that burns for all to see, 

So let that fire consume your life and burn for all to see

 PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Girl V Boy

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

The Absent Husband

           Married three years, dated seven and here I am, with a two-year old child and one on the way. I thought I knew him, I've known him for so long. When we dated he listened, he understood, he gave me his shoulder to cry on. Now... well now its the opposite, he never listens, he doesn't understand and he's the one that makes me cry. When we decided to get married everyone was happy for us. Even a year into marriage he was that kind gentle person I fell in love with, that guy that came home with flowers on a regular Wednesday afternoon, the guy that helped cook, watched T.V. with, laughed with, loved with. But now he's different. Even our friends and family see it. Ever since Kristy was born it's like he doesn't even want to be around me. Sure he works and provides for us but he's never around. He acts like Kristy is a chore, like he can leave and attend her later. He complains about everything. How nasty changing a diaper is, how dirty the house gets, how dinner isn't always done. If he was home more often maybe I could get some help with Kristy so that I could cook and clean. But all he wants to do is be away from me. He's always with his friends, planning activities, going out. Where did that warm heartfelt person I feel in love with go? It's like everyday we fight, everyday we argue but its not like we're dating, we're married and have children. I've gotten to a point where I'm just depressed all the time, I hardly go out, I always have to attend to Kristy by myself plus I'm expecting, its like .... it's like I'm a single parent but with the extra baggage of an non-supportive husband and I don't know what to do.

It's very difficult to get married with a person you thought was going to be the perfect husband and eventually the perfect father and then realized that he didn't live up to your expectations. That he changed, all you guys do is argue. But it's even worse when you have children. Every time you argue, it's the child that is directly affected. Children always sense when things are wrong, they get tense, scared and worried. Many scenarios go through their minds about situations they can't yet comprehend. But here's a reality check....When you got married and thought you were marring the perfect person, that was your biggest mistake, because you have to remember NO MAN is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, even you. When both of you got married you both had expectations for the other person.   This idea that either of you were perfect was an absolute let down that can cause many doubts in one another. Counseling provides you with someone out of your immediate circle to give advise and help guide your marriage from an outside perspective. It is always good to seek counseling no matter how small an issue maybe. Because without counseling a little problem left without being addressed can soon become a great dilemma. It's very hard to admit that you may  have let your husband down, sometimes its even more difficult for a man to admit his wrongs. But if he tries to make things better, don't shut him down, its his way to say "I'm sorry." Today might be a simple gesture or action and then may come the actual words "I'm sorry." If you feel like he leaves you home all day long to attend the children bring up the issue of possible day care or babysitting. A few hours outside the house would do you great and something as little as that can help your marriage greatly. Just remember to stop suppressing  your feelings to see if your spouse can tell that your unhappy. Speak up, say what you need and what you want. Because if your stubborn what you might just get is a divorce over a situation that could have been prevented.

-PleaseDefineLove.Blogspot.Com

PARTY ROCKERS

I think everyone just LOVES the weekends. No work, no school, hardly no responsibilities. Just you the t.v. and all the junk food you can eat. Or at least that's how it was. But now more than ever it seems like "Friday's" has become the symbolism for party time. All you hear at work, school, and especially on Facebook is "can't wait for Friday to DRINK... Can't wait to go clubbing or Can't wait to get it in." Clubs are said to be places where you go to "have fun," "relax" and "meet new people"..... Fun & relaxing? Really? With all the publicity clubs have gotten, all we have seen is the exact opposite of fun and relaxing.  Lets get REAL, what happens in clubs? You spend all your money on booze, sweat, and half the time get in confrontations 'cuz people act stupid when they drink. What is so fun and relaxing about that? At the end of the day you're broke, with a headache, and no memory of what you did. Yet that's "so EPIC?" Posting up pictures on Facebook of your tits about to hang out, your buddy chugging a whole bottle and you passed out in the corner and underneath all the photos are comments saying"OMG ya didn't invite me" or "Damn that looks like a good time." Maybe its just me but, Whats so appealing about being sloppy and looking skanky? 

In clubs girls always get harassed by men, you're in a crowded area, the music is so loud  you can't hold a conversation and women ask why they can't find a decent man. What type of man are you looking for that holds value and still goes clubbing? Where he's probably grinding on a girl, getting various numbers or just making out on the dance floor. And not to mention you provoking the HELL out of them with dresses and shorts border line showing your asses. And wondering why you always get the bad guys. How you dress and how you display your self is exactly how you're going to be treated.

Now I'm not saying partying is bad, I'm just saying THERE IS NO NEED TO PARTY EVERY WEEKEND. There is no need to get wasted Friday, Saturday and Sunday, there is no reason not to remember what you did or didn't do, and there is no need to spend $200 a night on going to the club. The weekends should be about relaxing, having fun, doing things you cant do on the weekdays. Waking up late, going shopping, or going to the park. How many people have lived in a town or city and haven't been to a landmark? And I'm guilty on this too. Living in NYC I've only been to the the statue of Liberty once, to central park twice and the never to the Empire State Building. Now this is just my opinion, but wouldn't it be better to actually DO SOMETHING fun on the weekend besides clubbing? Since we have already established how non relaxing and how non fun a club can be? What's your opinion? is it just me? Am I the ONLY person that feels this way?

Something More

When I close my eyes at night, I don't want to cry

I don't want to reminisce, I don't want to be in pain

When I close my eyes I want to be happy

I want to be at peace, I want to smile

I need something more

Something new, maybe old

Something you haven't done in a while

I need your attention, I need your strength

I need your love

What Im getting is not good enough

its not satisfying, its not worth it

I'm done with the pain

Im done with the sorrow Im done with the tears

I need something more

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Because I Love You

Because I love you is why you're beautiful,

It's why you're stunning

It's why you're amazing

Because I love you is why I've changed,

It's why I'm faithful

It's why I'm caring

But it's because you love is why I'm complete,

It's why I'm happy

It's why you were worth it.

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

The Void Never Filled...The Yearn For a Father

To Whom This May Concern,

 

I have memories that have haunted me for years, memories which made me cry every night in bed, memories that dug a hole so deep into my heart that left my life empty… and it all started when I was six.

I was an only child. My whole world consisted of two people, my mom & dad. My mom was an angel and my dad, well my dad was my hero, the defeater of all evil, and for the first six years of my life he reigned as king. He never missed a birthday, he never missed a goodnight kiss, and most importantly he was always at my side when I called. My dad was my best friend.

Now I don’t know when my world fell apart. No matter how much I try to remember, I still don’t have an answer. I knew my parents argued, but things always seemed to be fine the next morning… But I guess it was all an act because a few months after my sixth birthday my dad vanished before my very eyes. No one had prepared me for this….. What happened? For days I was in shock, my little mind could not comprehend what was going on. My dad…. left? Where? Why? When was he coming back?

For a while I stayed in denial, I waited by the door all day, I didn’t get any sleep because I was looking out my window for him. How could he forget about me? …. I thought he loved me? After several weeks it finally sunk in.... he was gone

For months I always kept hope my dad would come back and say “I got lost” or simply “I missed you.” After a while I composed a prayer that went:

Father,

Help me bring back my daddy

Father, save him!

Can’t you see how much I need him?

I will do anything in return; I’ll clean my room,

Try hard at school, I’ll be good! I promise you

Father, I pray to you.

I recited that prayer at least three times a day. Hoping he’d come back. Weeks passed, then months, I finally understood it, he wasn’t coming home, no matter what I said.

            About seven years passed. I stopped waiting for him at the door, no longer did I crawl into my mom’s bed and curl into a ball on what was his side of the bed. I simply accepted that he wasn’t coming back. But just when I thought I overcame this obstacle, my mother calls me into the living room, sat me down, and told me she thought I was old enough to understand what happened……My Dad had left me, for another woman. A woman who he had an affair with, a women 10 years younger than my mom, and whom he got pregnant. “NO” was all I could say, this could not be, I broke down in tears, I refused to believe it! But as quickly as tears fell, they stopped. Rage took over my very soul. All this pain inside of me rekindled. But no longer was it simply pain, it was fury and of the utmost toxic.

            Since that very day I made it my duty to find him, to scream in his face how much he hurt me, how much pain he inflicted on me, how destroyed he left me. How could he do that to me? to my mom? I was only six years old, SIX! The months I cried meant nothing to him, I meant nothing to him, I was nothing to him! Not once did he call! I followed every lead I had, every source of information I had on him, ‘til I hit the jackpot. BINGO. I found him.

            He lived in a small house in Bergen County, New Jersey. I drove two hours to from Rhode Island to his home eager to scream to the seven winds everything to his face. And just as I pulled up I saw him, It was really him, my father, my best friend, my hero, walking out his front door with two young girls in his arms. This was his family. This is what he left me for; this is who he replaced me with. I admit I began to cry. Not only did I begin, I sobbed for about two hour’s straight. By this time he had already left, to work I imagine. I composed myself and thought it over, no matter how much he destroyed me and killed me, these children had nothing to do with it. They probably don’t even know of my existence. I could not cause a scene in front of them.

            So I decided to write a note, as cowardly as it seems, it’s probably the best thing I could have done. Not let that scum of a man even see me, let him hurt inside when he reads this note, on how he killed a child’s life, how he ripped the soul right out of her the day he left. How he left a void so deep inside her that no matter how she tried to fill it just resists to be filled. How she yearned for a father but never got one. How its 15 years too late to ask for forgiveness and it 15 years too late to act like he ever cared. To let him know that I was not six anymore, I don’t believe in knights in shining armor, nor do I believe in a makeshift land where unicorns live. That I know my left from my right, the good from the bad, and my up from my down. How to tie my shoes and how to fight, how to drive a car and how to take care of myself. I’ve grown up a fine woman without his help. And for that I thank you. And to live in peace for I forgive you.

 -TheDaughterYouNeverCaredFor

The Damage Is Done

Last Kiss

            We've all gone through break-ups and make-ups. Times where you argue with your boy/girlfriend yet know everything will be fine...... Except this time it was different. This time you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach. That feeling of knowing somethings gonna happen. You start to tear up but he/she reassures you that everything's fine. You toss and turn all night. Days pass and you don't get a phone call, not even a text.... Before, every morning you'd wake up to a "good morning sweetheart" text, or a "Can't wait to see you today."  Now ..... well, now all you get are voice mail's and brief hi's and bye's. Everything's different, nothing is like it was. And then one day he/she tells you those four words you've been dreading... "We need to talk." Your stomach sinks, your heart beat races, and every memory you've had together runs through your mind. Your eyes water up but you hold back the tears  ......... It's over.
           Since that day, everything's gray. Nothing has color, and nothing makes sense. Three years together and just minutes to end it. You begin to run through every memory to see what happened. How did it come to this? Was it sudden, or was there signs? Could you have prevented this? So many questions, but no answers to fill them. Crying yourself to sleep is the norm and every sad song  you own is on replay.... Those types of songs that can describe what you're feeling at that exact moment. Those types of songs that makes you want to rip your heart straight out of your chest to stop all the pain. Yea.... We've all been through that. The depression stage. Where everything reminds you of him/her. Where we talk to his/her friends to see what he/she's up to, how he/she's been, and if he/she's moved on. No matter how much we try to stay away, there's always that one photo we refuse to throw away. You never thought that the last kiss would be THE last kiss. The last of them all. The would of, could of , should of scenarios run through your brain.... but its too late. It's more than over, its finished.
         Months pass and eventually that wound begins to heal. No more crying yourself to sleep and no more urgency to hear his voice. That deep rooted wound is now just a mere scar being healed. Your days now have some colors and your playlist doesn't consist of any songs that remind you of Love. You feel like you have moved on, you feel accomplished. Three months of healing and you feel you deserve a reward, a night out, a day to restore your social life. All your friends miss you, all your friends are excited for tonight. And right when your laughing your heart away at something that just happened, you open your eyes &look to the distance... Your heart stops ....It's him. Yes, it's him, you remember his face, his eyes, and whats more astonishing is that and he's staring right back at you with eyes of joy.... You both smile and look away. Your day just became gloomy yet still with color. It's raining, but not over you, you're crying, but your happy........ You just began to live. 

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

I Define Me.. and i wouldn't wanna be anybody else.

           It seems like everyday someone is complaining about how they look, whether they're too short, too tall, too fat or too skinny. Everyone is always finding "deformities" with their own bodies. But where are we getting these ideas? who's judging? and whats the rubric? Better yet, who is anyone to tell you how you NEED to look?

           Beauty has no definition and beauty cannot be measured. YOU and only you are the only person that defines beauty in your life. Whether you be short, skinny, fat or tall, you were born that way for a reason, and God made you in his image, he made you perfect as can be. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or make you doubt it. For the person that lives to plant that seed of doubt in your mind pours out evil from under their skin. Embrace yourself. Love yourself. But better yet, enjoy your life! We don't live forever!  No need to say that we all can't be immortals like "The Cullen's," forever frozen at a certain age. We are what we are, and I'm pretty glad to be a human. Love your flaws and love your body.Who is anyone to judge you, stop trying to be somebody else, just be beautiful you!

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Men Will Never Win.

Girls, take it easy!

Now I think it's good to say that everyone knows how territorial women can get when it comes to other females interacting with their men. And for the most part, we blame everything on our boyfriends. We ask them a billion and one questions on why they were even talking to her in the first place. Take a chill pill women! Why so much jealousy? You can't expect your boyfriend to never talk to any other female besides you. Be realistic. Just like you have your male friends that are JUST FRIENDS, your boyfriend can have girls that are JUST FRIENDS. Don't be so controlling. Unless that is, you want to lose him? Now I'm not saying that every girl is worth trusting. 'Cuz you never know a girls true intentions when it comes to men. But let him breathe! If he bumps into a girl he knows, don't make a scene, don't ruin your day, if anything show her how good he treats you. Don't throw a fit for something as little as saying "hi" to someone, 'cuz God knows how many guys you talk to on the daily basis that your boyfriend don't know. Be fair.

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Twilight Fantasy

Excuses Excuses Excuses!

Top ten excuses women use to stay in dysfunctional relationships

"He Loves me"

"He says he's going to change"

"We have kids together"

"...That was before, he's different now"

"Yea we argue, but what relationship doesn't?"

"He only hit me once, he was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing"

"He would never lie to me"

"He cheated on me before, but he's 100% committed now"

"Nobody knows him like me, he's just going through a difficult time"

"I Love Him"

There is no excuse for anyone to feel the need to stay in a dysfunctional relationship. Love does not cause harm, love is not jealousy and certainly love is NOT abuse. Denial is not the answer. The fact is if a relationship is not working out then its time to go separate ways. Don't hold on to false illusions. You should be number one in a mans life. If you feel neglected, abused and hurt, leave him! So many women stay in relationships because they think they're in love, but in fact they are blinded by lies. With excuses that eventually he'll change, that he's trying. The truth is that no matter how hard you try to change someone, the other person has to give forth effort. And if a man really loved you , you wouldn't have to force him to change, he would change because he loves you and wants to make you happy. Take control of your relationship TODAY. Its either make it or break it, it's been too long to give third and forth opportunities. Along will come a man that will really value you, and who knows, maybe it will be the same man you left that really self evaluated his life without you and decided to change.

PleaseDefinelove.blogspot.com

Messy Purse?

Have you ever been checking out and started taking everything out of your purse because you couldn’t find something? How embarrassing! Statistics show that girls usually stuff their purses with nonessential items, bringing along so many “just in case” products. But it’s time for everyone to empty out and clean out their purses! And I’ve listed four easy steps to help you get started.

Step 1: EMPTY OUT YOUR PURSE

There is no reason for anyone to have so many things in their purse. Once you get home from work, empty out your bag. You have no idea how many things we accumulate in our bag that wasn’t there when we took it to work. Items such as receipts, extra napkins, lose change, etc. You might think “a few receipts is nothing,” but what happens the next day? We wake up, and take the same bag, without emptying it. This goes on for days, weeks and maybe months until slowly we have stuffed our bags to the max. This is why it is crucial to empty out our purses every day.

Step 2: TRAVEL LIGHT

Many times before heading out the door we stuff our bags with so many things we hardly ever use. Plan ahead and be smart! Check out your local drugstore’s travel section. There are tons of stuff there *in travel size* that sell for only $1 that we can use.

Also, step two applies to your make-up bag!

Girls, ya know ya are guilty of carry your whole inventory in your purses. Travel light! Only carry up to 4 make up products. This will reduce your make up bag tremendously, and not to mention lets you find what you’re looking for fast!

Step 3: STAY AWAY FROM BIG BAGS

Unless we are going to the beach, we shouldn’t carry big bags on the daily bases. When we carry huge bags we tend to forget step two, which is to travel light. We see such a big bag and so little inside that we just stuff it. If you can find a smaller purse to bring, bring it!

And lastly Step 4:

Rock the day with no worries of being unable to find what you need!

PleaseDefineLove.blogspot.com

Inspirational Quotes

"Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning"

 -Psalms 30 : 5

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies"

-Proverbs 31:10-11

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth"

-1 John 3: 18